Grieving is a natural reaction to loss. With your divorce, it's not
just the loss of the marriage, but companionship, a home, and family. It
may feel overwhelming to let yourself feel the pain of all of these
losses, but you have to in order to move on. Suppressing your feelings
will only prolong your grieving process. During this time, you need to
remember that you do have a future. If you feel as if you're stuck in
negativity, you may need to be treated for depression. It's important to
be frank with yourself about your reaction to the break-up. Being sad
for a while is normal. Not moving forward after a time is not healthy.
If you've lost a lot of your social network in the divorce, you will
need to make an effort to reconnect. Cultivate new friendships through
your place of worship or other community group. Take a class. Get
involved in a gym. Volunteer. Yes, it's going to be hard to get back out
there among people. Isolation only makes you feel more alone. Your
divorce offers you a chance to begin new activities and try new
interests.
Pay attention to your
needs. You still need to make healthy choices with food, drink, and
exercise. Get enough sleep. Again, this is not always easy because of
your added pressures and raging emotions, but it is essential to your
health. After a significant loss, you shouldn't make any major decisions
unless it is absolutely necessary. You need to give yourself time for
your emotions to cool off to make the best choice. Remember that it is
okay to say no. Be cautious about using drugs or alcohol to mask the
pain. There are healthy ways of dealing with stress. Find the ones that
work for you.
Be objective when
analyzing what went wrong with the relationship. This is a chance for
you to grow and learn. It's important that you not dwell on who's to
blame, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over the divorce. You have an
opportunity to look at your own behavior and learn from the mistakes you
made. Next time you go into a relationship, you'll make better choices
and be stronger.
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